Good Bye, Friend
by Moonlady9
Summary: He was always engrossed in his work, never looking to see who he was turning his back to. She had grown tired of his door always closing in her face because he was busy. She had to go where no one knew her name. robstar
1. Boston

**Good Bye, Friend **

**Boston **

**Hello my faithful readers or new readers, I have written a new story. All the chapters are pretty much songfics and there will be three chapters. I have not stopped writing "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" and I am not on hiatus its just that I am having difficulty finding my muse for the story, but trust me I am trying so hard and ripping my hair out trying to finish it. Also, applying to colleges takes up a lot of my time so that is also another reason I haven't been updating a lot. Well I hope that you guys like my short story. Please tell me how I'm doing. Thank you all.**

* * *

The sun was setting, the hues of bright orange, red and yellow beginning to blend in with the dark blues and violets and black of the incoming night. The ocean below resting calmly. The waves hitting the shore lazily as the warm breeze walked through the leaves of the trees. The ocean birds floating carelessly over the ocean waters. 

Far off in the distance there were still many people enjoying the warm waters of the pacific. Little kids trying to smoother up the courage to enter the water but running away before the water would touch their toes and then trying all over again only to be met with the same reaction in the end and the cycle kept repeating until they were either too tired and went to their parents or finally realized there is nothing to fear and taking careful steps went into the ocean until the water reached their knees. Learning that the ocean did have its playful side.

Up on the tower a lone figure was sitting down on the roof with her head resting on her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs. Her auburn tresses trying to follow the gentle breeze. Her emerald eyes no longer held the same joy and curiosity as they once held years ago, now grown up, she had experienced much more life and pain reflected in her somber face.

When she came to Earth she was ignorant to its ways and relied on others to explain to her the Earthen customs, mainly she went to one person. A person that she had grown to care deeply about and eventually grew to love. She had always known there was a reason she had picked him to kiss when she wanted to learn the English language. It wasn't just because he was in front of her, or because he had taken away her shackles, freeing her from slavery, making her woman that controlled her destiny, but because she saw something in him, in his smile, how he helped her when she was destroying everything in sight, it was because he genuinely cared about her.

She still remembered that kiss. She wanted to communicate with them but found it frustrating she could not. Knowing that with her Tamaranean powers she could absorb his language she pulled him into a kiss. The instant her lips had touched his she knew that he was kind, she really didn't need to keep touching him from there but she kept going. His lips were so soft and gentle that she dragged on the kiss for a few moments longer enjoying his smoothness. It was relaxing.

She smiled to herself. That kiss was so long ago, it almost seemed like an eternity, but had only happened six years ago. Now, being nineteen and wiser, looking back on her relationship with Robin she sometimes wishes that she wasn't so attracted to him, that maybe she should have fallen for someone else, someone who was willing to love her as much as she loved Robin, but we do not chose who we fall in love with. Before we know it we trip and fall and sometimes we get hurt with bruises that never heal, wounds that never close and scars that don't go away, but maybe if we get lucky there might be someone to catch us, maybe if were lucky.

Starfire had been falling for six years and she had finally realized that Robin wasn't going to catch her but she wasn't going to hurt herself either, she was going to put her hands in front of herself and pick herself up, hopefully only left with scratches that would heal quickly and not scar. In the back of her mind she knew that this was not going to happen, she had been falling for far too long and getting injured was inevitable, she just had to clean herself up and try not to focus on the pain.

She looked up at the sky, the setting sun was being engulfed by the darkness, the stars were slowly beginning to emerge. She was so lost. She had tried for years to get him to let her love him and care for him, but he never understood that she didn't want to be just his girl friend but his girlfriend. He was always engrossed in his work, never looking to see who he was turning his back to. She had grown tired of his door always closing in her face because he was busy.

Silent tears were falling down her cheeks into her hands. He didn't love her, no, he wouldn't love her. He could blame his confinement of emotion to years of training from Bruce, but she knew that there was something else, he just wouldn't tell her, he wouldn't tell anyone. She wanted to know so she could help him, so she could see the real him. In six years she hadn't even seen his eyes, he isolated himself from the world, from his friends, behind a door and mask.

She couldn't spend the rest of her life trying to change him, she couldn't be around him anymore, he caused her more pain than he thought. She had crossed the galaxy to get away form another type of pain. For years before she had to endure torture from Gordineans. She could deal with physical pain and torture but she couldn't deal with the pain he was causing her, the way that he damaged her heart. She had to leave, she had to get away and never come back. Leave him behind her. The only way that she could do that was to go far away where he wouldn't harm her with his silence, his solitude. He wouldn't care anyways, he was always locked up, too busy to see her turmoil.

She gently stood up as the sun's last rays were smothered away by the blanket of the night sky. Wiping away her tears she walked back to her room and began to pack some clothes and personal items in a backpack. She changed into jeans, a lilac tank top, tennis shoes and a jacket completed her look. She quietly put her uniform on top of her dresser, off to the side she set her communicator, gloves and arm bands. Her eyes were beginning to rim with fresh tears. She sniffed back a sob. She looked at her self in the mirror and put her hair up in a pony tail, her fiery red hair falling down to her waist.

She studied herself in the mirror. She had changed so much since she had become a member of the Teen Titans. She was taller now, her figure more feminine that hid the strength of a dozen men, but the most dramatic change could not be seen. She was now neither ignorant, nor naïve anymore. She looked at her face. He completion without imperfections, her large emerald eyes standing out, her lips rosy and full. Many people have told her she was beautiful, even Robin, but she didn't think of her self beautiful or even pretty, just as another Tamaranean, another person.

She rubbed the back of her hands over her reddened eyes, picked up her back pack and slung it over her shoulder, heading for the door when a light caught her attention. She turned and looked at her desk. The light of the moon was being reflected from a picture frame that Raven had kindly given to her on her eighteenth birthday. She picked it up and began to study the picture. Robin had given it to her after her first year of being a Titan. It had been taken after the Tower was completed. The whole team was standing in front of it. Beast Boy and Cyborg were laughing after pulling a prank on Raven. Raven was standing off on the side, her navy blue cloak flowing behind her, not a smile on her face. Robin was smiling, showing his white teeth. Lastly Starfire looked at herself. She was standing next to Robin her mouth open as she said cheese. It was one of the happiest moments in her life, the whole team together. The picture seemed to capture all their personalities so perfectly. Beast Boy and Cyborg were the comedians, ready to put a smile on anyone's face, Raven lonely and dark, no emotion escaping her disciplined barriers, Robin laid back but strict when at work, and Starfire actually saying cheese when it was just and "expression" as it was later explained to her.

Starfire put her backpack down and wrapped the frame in a shirt hoping to keep it safe. She put on her backpack and headed out to the roof. She counted every stair, forty-seven. As she opened the door she smiled despite herself as it gave its old familiar creak, it was most likely going to be the last time she would hear that sound. She stood silently on the edge of the roof. Looking at the crescent moon that hung low in the sky. There were no longer people on the far off beach, the ocean birds were no longer floating on the ocean. This was it, she was leaving Titans Tower forever and never return.

Her feet were beginning to leave the ground as she reluctantly began to fly. To her surprise she felt a hand on her shoulder pull her back down. She wanted to leave, she really did, should would have taken off despite someone pulling her back. What stopped her was who that hand belonged to. She turned around to be met with a masked face.

"What do you think your doing?" Robins voice soft but demanding.

"I am leaving." She responded quietly.

"Why?" his tone full of pain and confusion. He didn't want her to leave, not like this, not now. He needed her by his side, she was what kept him sane. She was what separated himself from every other villain, she was what made him good. She was what made him what he was. Even if she didn't know it, she had molded him, made him a better man.

"Because being here would only bring me pain."

"Starfire, what is causing you pain. Maybe I can help?" Anger boiling inside of him at the knowledge of someone causing his Starfire pain. Enough pain to make her leave from his side. Yet, he still held concerned for her safety, he wanted to protect her at all costs.

"You can not help me Robin." Her eyes downcast, not wanting to look at his for he will most likely get the truth out of her. He always seemed to know when she was lying and would stop at nothing to get the truth from her. It was slightly annoying to her, especially when he wasn't suppose to know. Like when she had told him of his surprise birthday party that the whole team had worked hard for and he had gotten it out of her. It seemed that he always knew her weaknesses and used them almost maliciously sometimes.

"But why? I want to help, I need to help." He stressed the last part hoping to convince her.

"But you cannot. Don't you understand Robin. I do not want your help. You may think that I am weak and too naïve for my own good but I am not. I am strong and wiser than what you have given me credit for. I have grown much since the first time we met." Desperation taking over her emotions. She wanted him to let her go, to let her take care of herself.

"I know that you are stronger and wiser, you have proven that to me many times in battle. I just don't want you to leave. I want to help you through whatever it is that you are going through."

"I do not mean strength in battle, I mean in soul. There are times when we must do things alone. You cannot help me, not this time, for you do not know what I am going through, nor will you understand it." She turned to leave but was stopped once again by his hand on her arm.

"Please just let me go." Tears were beginning to make their way to her green eyes.

"Just tell me. Will we ever see you again?" Hope prominent in his voice.

"I do not know." She said earnestly as the tears began to fall down her cheeks.

"Where are you going?"

"I think I'm going to Boston." More tears began to fall down her face.

"Why Boston?" His voice was soft. His heart was heavy, he was really losing her, his Star.

"I think I'll start a new life. I think I'll start it over." She turned to see his face for possibly the last time, her eyes red as tears were shed.

"Was being here so horrible?" He questioned looking into her eyes.

"I am think that it is time that I live my own life. Make my own destiny and if I stay here there will always be people that know who I am. I need to go where no one knows my name." She wiped away the tears that continued to cascade down her face.

Robin looked at her. She wasn't just upset, she was weeping emotionaly. Deep inside he had a feeling that she was leaving because of him, he had done something that he wasn't yet aware of.

"I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather. Lately it seems that it mocks my sorrow. The breeze so cheerful, the ocean so playful." She tried to smile behind her sorrow. He could see that it was taking a lot from her to smile. He remembered when everywhere she went her smile would illuminate a room, she was always so joyous, so happy.

"Then what will you do?" He asked, trying to keep her with him as long as he could.

"Maybe I will find someone that loves me, that cares for me as much as I care for him and we'll fly to Spain. I have always wanted to go to Spain. It looks so beautiful in books." She looked back to the horizon where the sun had set, her eyes dreamy.

"Why do you want to leave the Titans? Aren't you happy with us?" He wanted to know why she choose this path, why she was choosing to leave. His suspicion was confirmed, he wasn't loving her enough, wasn't appreciating her. He had broken her once joyous spirit. She deserved more than he could ever offer her, she needed to find the man that would make her happy and would make all her dreams come true, and the harsh reality was that he wasn't that man.

"I am Robin, but I have been protecting this city for six years. I think that I'm just tired. I think that I need a new town to leave this all behind. I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset." Her eyes still lost in the horizon she spoke softly, trying in the back of her mind to convince herself why she was leaving.

"But why so far? Why Boston?"

"I need a change. Here it's nice in the summer, but some snow would be nice. Plus, in Boston no one knows my name." She turned to look at him, his face showed sadness. She could tell even through his mask. The way his eyebrows curved, the corners of his lips turned slightly downward.

They stood in silence enjoying each other's presence and sifting through their thoughts. After a few minutes of silence, Robin spoke first.

"Before you leave I want to show you something." He brought his hands up to his mask and began to remove it slowly. He was nervous, this was the first time since he had joined the Titans that he was going to share something so intimate to a team mate.

She watched in shock as he removed his mask, she had always wanted to see what he hid behind it, always wondered what color his eyes were, but she wasn't prepared for him to show her now.

He had removed his mask but his eyes remained closed. He felt the cold wind over his naked eyes. Starfire waited patiently for him to open his eyes. She knew that he was very private and reserved, that his eyes were very precious to him.

He finally opened his eyes and stared directly at Starfire's. Her eyes seemed to show much more emotion now, he could see them more clearly without his mask reflecting something else. Starfire stood still as she intently studied his eyes. They were a deep cerulean, his eyelashes long and held a natural curl, they complimented his ebony hair. In their depths she could see glimpses of sadness and pain from many years before. She now understood why his eyes were so precious to him, they were a window to his past, his past that he had shrouded in mystery to the team.

She gently reached out and placed a shaky hand on his cheek slowly caressing it, watching as he placed one of his gloved hands on top of hers and drew it closer to his mouth. He placed gentle kisses on her hand feeling her soft skin against his lips. She whimpered slightly at his affections. If he continued to do this then she wouldn't be able to leave, and if she stayed he would only end up hurting her in the end.

She pulled her hand back slowly "I am most sorry, but I need to leave." Her voice barely above a whisper and hoarse from crying.

He looked up to her looking at her eyes, red and swollen from crying.

He took her hand back, "Keep this" he placed his mask in her fingers.

She took it and put it in her jacket.

"Good bye, friend. Maybe we will see each other again sometime." With that she turned and flew away.

He stood on the roof, watching as his princess flew away from his reach. "Good bye Starfire. I hope that we do see each other again." He whispered to himself, and watched until he could no longer see her slim frame.

Tears were trailing behind her as she continued to fly faster and farther away from the place that she had once called home. She flew to Boston, where no one knew her name.

**

* * *

Please review!**

**Much love,**

**Josy**


	2. What Hurts The Most

**Good-Bye, Friend  
What Hurts The Most **

**Hello everybody! Sorry it took so long for me to update this story but here's the next installment. I hope that you enjoy it.I will update "I don't want to miss a thing" after this so wait for that and I submitted a one-shot, "Swan's Song" it very depressing but I thought it was really good. So go read more of my works!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. The song that inspired this chapter is What Hurts The Most by Rascall Flats**

* * *

A small bank light was turned on with a pull on a chain. It illuminated the papers around it on a desk. Pictures of villains, reports of crimes, newspaper clippings and a single picture of a team of teens in a picture frame decorated the desk. A chair was pulled away from the desk and a figure sat down and wheeled it back to the desk. Hands shuffled the papers. Some where picked up and looked over by masked eyes and put back down. Elbows were raised up to the table as he put his head into his hands.

It had been eight months since she had left, eight months since his reason had left. She was his reason to live, to laugh, to enjoy life, but know his life was so monotonous and routine. His outlook turned dark, like the clouds in the skies. He was always sighing, wondering if she had found someone to take to Spain, he fought hard but he had no one to smile and congratulate him on his skills, that had always been her forte. Eight months of solitude and bleakness.

He raised his head and looked towards the ceiling. His whole room was dark, papers covering the paint from the walls and what could be seen was a dark blue paint, the curtains were drawn and his bed made neatly. He had spent a lot of time in here but hadn't paid much attention to the darkness in his room, that or he didn't care. He figured it was just a latter of both.

He could hear the windows rattling. He walked over to the window and pulled the curtains open, something he did very rarely now. Torrents of rain continued hitting the pane as he looked past then into the horizon where he had last seen his Starfire. Gray clouds hid the silver moon and golden stars from view but replaced them with bolts of lightning and roars of thunder. The ocean was so dark and violent, crashing into the rocks below the tower as the rain pelted any object that withstood it. Car lights could still be seen off in the edge of the city as they drove cautiously on the slippery pavement. The trees were lifeless and the flowers hidden until spring.

"Where are you? I need you so much Starfire." He wondered aloud "I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house that doesn't bother me. I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out. I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while. I know men aren't suppose to, but then again men aren't suppose to jump of ten story buildings and land gracefully unharmed, or be trained in dozens of different martial arts and fight crime in a costume. But going on with you gone still upsets me, it's so hard to do. I try so hard yet there are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok just so that the team doesn't pay too much attention to me and question me." He put his gloved hand on the window and felt the coldness through that fabric as he spoke quietly out into the world hoping that she would hear him.

"But that's not what gets me Star, it's not that your gone, or that I'm alone. What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away. Never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do all these years that I have been with you. Every time you were close I could feel my stomach churn and my heart lighten, I never knew it was love until now." His eyes looked into the skyline yellow lights creating a silhouette of skyscrapers in the distant darkness.

This was the city he swore to protect with his team. But he hadn't protected his team. He thought that keeping his truths away from Starfire was protecting her, but as he found out that night, it only drove her away.

A white frost covered the window around his hand. Mist formed at his lips when he breathed. As he dragged his fingers down from the glass his gloves wiped away the frost only so more ice could heal over the openings. He stood up and walked back to his desk. He was aching inside and nothing could stop the pain, not the files, or the criminals, or even the happy faces of the citizens he saved, nothing. Not even practice and when he was alone, like nights like these, solitude settled into his soul and he was forced to remember why he was so alone.

Glanced at the picture on his desk. Her smile was so radiant, her eyes so kind, he hair fiery. Everything about her was so perfect, she was always so happy, so gentle and yet so strong. She could always find the silver lining, only to her it was more like platinum, everything to her would turn out fine it almost seemed that nothing could get her down. Except that there was something that pushed her down. It was him, he had broken her when he thought her unbreakable, had damaged her heart after continuous neglect, he had stained something so pure and innocent and had managed to transform an alien creature into a human monster. He had made her look at the dark side of things, made her smile less radiant, her eyes more somber and her hair dimmer. He had taken a rose bud and made it wilt before it fully blossomed.

He knew everything she went through was because of him. he hadn't nurtured her enough, hadn't shown his love to her. He wasn't even there when she needed a shoulder to cry on. He should have been around her more often, should have helped her, loved her more. Now he was in his room, darkness around him, as he looked through files alone. Alone. He was used to being alone after all Bruce wasn't exactly nurturing either. He was sure his family loved him a lot but he couldn't remember them as well as he used to, just snapshots of their horrified faces as the fell to their deaths. He couldn't remember his mother's hugs, or his father's smiles. He was always so alone at Wayne Manor. He was too rich to play with normal kids, and when he became Robin all his free time was spent training. Then the Titans formed and it seemed that Starfire made it her job that he was never alone when he needed someone. She was always around and willing to help him when he needed it. Now she wasn't here, she left him with no one to help him through her absence. He had companionship and now he didn't. He wanted to say that he had been ripped away from him, but he knew in the back of his mind that he had pushed her away. He wanted her, no, he needed her.

He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. In neat elongated letters he began to write. In the past eight months whenever he needed to talk to her he wrote notes to her and put them in a shoe box in the back of his closet. He resolved that he would eventually just burn them when his box got full enough, but he know had three boxes with scraps of papers and couldn't seem to get rid of them. they were to show him how desperate he was becoming to have her near him.

He began to write onto a paper that would join the more notes in a shoe box. As he wrote her name he stopped in the middle. It didn't seem right to him. Not at this precise moment. Writing couldn't capture everything he felt, one piece of paper and pen wouldn't be enough to rid himself of these feelings. It was like they were making him feel everything whether he wanted to or not. He stood up from his desk and went to sit down on the foot of his bed looking out the window into the stormy night.

"Starfire come back." He whispered to the horizon. "You don't know how hard it's been without you. It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go but I'm doin' it. I don't know how but I am, just barely. It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone. They were upset after you left but they just figured that it was for the best, that they were happy for you if you were happy. Sure there are times when they say 'I wish Starfire was here' or something like that but all I have to just say 'yeah so do I' and put a front up because they don't need to see me like I am now, they can't. what kind of leader would I be to them, what respect would I have from them if they say me right now." He raised his gloved hands to his face and removed his mask. He felt the cold air nip at the exposed skin, his eyelids opened to reveal icy blue depths. Dropping his mask to the floor he put his head into his hands and looked at the floor.

"That's not the hardest thing to do everyday. I put up a front all the time, I was trained to not show emotions so faking them is not hard for me. What is harder is getting up knowing that you wont be in the kitchen waiting for me with breakfast served. Getting dressed has become so tiring as if my limbs had lead in them. Living with this regret is what hurts me the most of all those things. I regret loosing you, loosing your love. But I know if I could do it over Starfire, I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken and scream from the top of my lungs to tell you how much you mean to me. I would, I swear I would, I would tell you every day that you are the reason my rest is so restful and every night that you are the reason I wake up every morning. I would never neglect you again Star, but now it's too late and your not here to give me a second chance." He blinked back tears as he spoke to himself, but couldn't stop them. solitary tears fell to the floor and were soaked into the carpet.

He sat down on the floor in front of the window watching as the clouds dispelled their moisture. Watching as the clouds seemed to get angrier each passing moment of solitude, the water hitting his window with extreme force. It almost made it seem that they were angry at him. heck, he was angry at himself it was only natural for mother nature to be angry at him. he destroyed her belief in that there was a silver lining, now when she looks at clouds that's all she sees, clouds. Not the fluffy white bunnies, or the ones that looked like flowers or even people kissing, she saw clouds and it was all his fault.

He had to have her again, he had to do something to make believe again. To make her hope that there was more to the world than darkness, that there was light. He had to make her hope that he was more than just Robin, that underneath the mask and costume he was Richard John Grayson, he was a person. He had to make her hope that she could bring Dick's emotions out and make him one person, not two separate entities. He need her to make him hope, make him hope that someday he would be good enough for her.

He looked up at his desk were he had left the paper and pen and looked toward the closet where the shoe boxes were. He couldn't write one more letter, he just couldn't. It would never be enough and she would never get to read them and that's not what he wanted, not what he needed. He needed her to read them and to forgive him for what she had become. He needed for her to hear him and see how full of regret he was. He had to make it up to her. Or at least to see her emerald eyes one more time, to see her smile, to smell her scent, to feel her silken hair, to touch her tender skin, to hear her sweet voice.

He was broken and she was the only one that could mend him. He reached for his mask that was laying next to him, wiping his eyes he put it on and stood up. He opened his closet and took out a pair of denim jean, black long sleeve cable-knit shirt, a pair of boots, a leather jacket and the shoe boxes. He placed them all on his bed and changed into them. He emptied out the boxes and put them in his backpack. Swinging the backpack over his shoulder he headed out the door.

On his way to the elevator he passed Starfire's room. He looked at the name plate still on the door. He refused to remove it or even touch anything that was in that room. Her uniform, arm bands, and communicator were still were she left them that night. He walked over to it and opened the door a crack. He looked inside, the bed was still neatly made, the purple curtains open, the dresser full of pictures, the air still slightly smelled of lavender. He closed it and walked away. As he turned around he was met with a pair of amethyst eyes.

"Where are you going?" Raven asked as she noticed what he was wearing.

"To love her." He responded.

Raven could help but smile. He had finally come to his senses and wasn't going to put barriers between his love for Starfire. She brought him into a hug but let go quickly.

"Just make sure that you tell her we love her too." With that she left him and walked back to her room.

He walked to the elevator and waited for the elevator to come down. He walked in and pressed the button that lead to the garage. The garage was dark and dank. As he flipped on the light switch all the different vehicles came into view, at the very end was his bike. He walked over to it, swung his legs over it and turned the ignition on. He sat there listening the engine. He was leaving to find his reason, his hope and his love.

He opened the door of the garage and looked out into the darkness. He revved up his bike and sped into the raging storm. The torrents of rain attacked him as he rode through the city, past the shore, past the park, past the skyscrapers and into the storm. He was going to find her no matter what it took, He was going to tell her what he felt no matter what stood in his way. He was going to love her forever.

**

* * *

Please review! **

**Love,**

**Josy**


End file.
